Ever worked in a condition where everything and everyone seems to be pressing you for answers, and you have so little time before each of the required responses are due? Can't believe Asians are always rushing. Though I'm generalizing, it does seem like many Asians follow this trait of pushing for results and driving much faster than they ought to.

Work life seems to carry with it many expectations to drive for excellence. In the career line, if you don't do well, you lose out. And thus, the dog eat dog world, rat race and paper chase label. Everyone wants to get a bigger piece of the cake, and in doing that, we push others down, and fend ourselves from trouble.

I just read an article yesterday regarding the "slow culture". The Swedes live in such culture, believing that it does help bring about better quality through quality analyzing, response feedback and constructive critism to build toward better. They even have "slow food", where in our culture, everything is fast, where we even need "fast food". And do you know, they would park far away so that they can walk? The late comers will then need to park near (as all those far away car-parks have already been occupied). Missed opportunity to enjoy the morning walk.

It certainly helps to have a balanced culture. I'm sure all of us could use a balance in driving expectations, what comes urgent, what can come later. We certainly need to know how to juggle between what's important to us, life of living with the various needs met by our proper planning.

The Bible tells us not to worry about tomorrow, for sufficient is the day's worries. (Matt 6:34) The essence of the message of not worrying is to come back to the knowledge of how much God loves us (verses 25-32). The task (or joy), is to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. He will then, add all to us (verse 33).

May the message of His love continue to ring deep in our hearts, to know that life is meant to be lived one thing at a time. Yes, the culture may push for us to drive faster and live in a breeze, but sometimes it's good to just take a break and breathe the air and watch the scenary and all of God's beauty, amen?

Lord God, thank You for giving so much, and caring for us. It is a challenge, no doubt to have to race with the expectations, but teach us to live wisely and redeeming the time because the days are evil. May all our days count, as a blessing to You and to others, for the glory of Your name. In Jesus' precious and holy name, Amen!

Work is tough...I suppose that it is very normal to run through life day after day in the office finding challenges that test us in our character, build and perseverance. It's been months since I last updated my blog, which is a sign that things are not going the right direction. Just too many setup work, but I think I need to, really need to set aside some time to do something that I love doing.

There has been a steady stream of visitors from everywhere coming to Penang to take a look at my product platform. Most of the visits were here to lay clearer expectations, some of which challenged my current setup and status. Many of them were really hard to catch up - working through changes to accommodate the different needs and requirements.

Setup has always taken much - and it will always. Staying up late, and working through issues, chasing the various needs to have different parties support the setup is indeed a challenge. That's where the challenge is, to find courage to pursue the correct direction, and also find proper support to ensure we make ends meet. This is truly the challenge of leadership; to find the best resources.

God has been truly good. Though I have not been very frequent in updating this, I must say that God has been really good to me, even through the trying times. Yes, there are hard times, there have been times where I'm really tried, but God's love and mercy never fails. He has promised me that He would give strength for every weakness, and mercy every morning.

Lord Jesus, I thank You for always standing with me. Your faithfulness never ends. And my prayer is, that as I face the challenges at work, may I continue to shine for You, through every challenge, through every moment. To the glory of Your name. In Jesus' precious and holy name, Amen!

This is time again, time to appraise people, time to assess the performance of your staff, and also your own. This is not a very nice time, because this is the time where the bosses become the victim of unsatisfied comments. Of course, there are also those who are excited, excited because they are keen to know how they have performed in the past year.

Work keeps us occupied. Many a time, we who are labourers fall into the trap of success that steps others down in order to climb the corporate ladder. How dangerous it is, because it truly is a killer of passion for people who earnestly want to succeed, but lose out to others who are faster, or more skillful. Perhaps, even wiser...

More so in a culture that practices a rating of a 'bell curve'. For every 100 employee, 5% will be excellent performers, 25% good, 40% creditable, 25% marginal, and 5% really poor performers. In my group of staff, I have 16 technicians reporting to me, and I need to rate at least 2 of them to be poor performers. How sad, I so wish I could do something more, but this is corporate direction downstream.

It's a cruel world we live in. Dog eat dog, we are constantly chasing for success at the expense of others. We have to be cautious, because this is not how we ought to treat others. God has commanded us to love others, as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39). That means, what good we seek for ourselves, we must also at that same level, treat others.

How difficult, yet this is what is expected. God help us, to be graceful in treating others, even as superiors. Because you would want God to ultimately say to you, "Well done, good and faithful servant, enter thou into the rest of the Lord." That's my heart!

I have a new project that's called Paradise. Over this project, I got several comments that I haven't planned well, in terms of leading a group well, and making sound decisions. Well, especially when my boss called me yesterday to question my decision on sending my staff to the US for this project.

You see, I have 2 new engineers reporting to me, and they are freshies. Not knowing what to do, and how to do it, many times, I would have to step in and decide what to do and how to do it. So perhaps my boss is right, am I doing the right thing? Well, my firm believe is, everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.

But I guess what my critics say about my decision is correct as well, that I need to be wise. Giving opportunities to others is a noble thing, but at what risk and possible consequence?

The target for my team to fly to the States is the 1st week of July. Having heard lots of comments, I really feel that I should go instead. Perhaps, I should, and have to make arrangements for it.

Anyway, nothing's confirmed yet. Need to run through some stuff before making decisions. Guess "Paradise" isn't exactly Paradise - because it takes a lot of thinking and planning.

Nothing to complain, just lots to learn...

This is always the scenario at quarter ends, where business will be chasing for revenue and operations side will always have to work half-dead to ensure that we meet the numbers.

Pretty interesting to note that somehow things keep repeating itself, even though we know that time and again, we will have to chase the numbers. At the beginning of each quarter, there are always plans to evenly distribute the loads, but it almost always doesn't happen.

Working here in my company is tough. It's always challenging to note the various expectations from your customers, your upper management, and your peers. But the great thing is, there is always room to grow and learn.

I'm going to note this down, there will be lots of work on improving myself after the q-end. I just had a meeting with my manager to get an assessment of my performance to-date, and there is a lot of room to improve. I will certainly look at those for my career advancement.

I must say that God has been really good to me. If it wasn't for His hands, I would have drained long ago, but His love keeps me strong.

Thank You Jesus, for being my strength and my song!

On night shift this week, supporting production. Not used to this, because am so used to working in the normal working hours, and when people are asleep, you're awake.

The need basically came when one of my tech actually made a mess of our test yields. Especially on the qualification of a new product, the yields have to be good. So, now, between my colleague, we have to rotate to ensure that all test ops are going good. Keeping yields up...

I guess so far, things are going good. Coming in night is not too bad after all, because now the technicians are more on their toes to ensure that they do well. Else I come back with some warnings....

There will be certain hours where I will feel really sleepy. But after that, you'll be ok. This is production life, right?

Well, guess will share this much for now. Will update more later.

First of all, I guess I have to admit that I am spending a lot of time only writing on work life, as most of the daily issues are revolving around it. It does not, however, mean that I have neglected my other participation to: i) God's leadership, and ii) Cell Group. Guess what I want to say is I am learning a great deal this season from the many different perceptions of people and also the various views that I am getting from people's reaction and response.

Over the past week or so, especially in the involvement in the crucial closure of the quarter, I have discovered that many people don't really show the other side of themselves unless under tremendous pressure. You will notice a great deal of stuff when someone is under stress or pressure. Things you never thought you would see would/could appear.

Though the week and month isn't over yet, I know there will be quite a number of challenges to the closure of this quarter. Am banking on the hopes that everything will run smoothly.

Like the subject, I always believe  in this, there will always be something to learn; be it people, or situation, or even technical stuff. We will not stop learning if we open our eyes to see and ears to listen, because we have a thousand and one things surrounding us that waiting for us to discover.

Father, thank You for Your goodness. You make all things good, for us to enjoy. Be they good or even bad on the outset, they are things You have given for me to learn. So I trust You to teach me to view every thing as valuable lessons to my growth. In Jesus' name, Amen!

I've been thinking about the blaming game that so often, we humans are in. Always pointing at others to take the blame, many times this is the case to avoid ourselves from getting into trouble. I suppose this is the basic human insticnt.

One of the many reasons to the human conflicts is because we just don't want to own the problem. I'm saying this as I reflected on what happened yesterday. It is upsetting to see why only some are blamed when it should be a bigger crowd who owned the incomplete task.

I would probably say it would have been better if the load was divided, especially when we have a common understanding to resolve a problem. Very often, we leave the blame to someone with the expectation that he/she would clear up and resolve the problem. But wouldn't it be better if we see to it together and provide solutions to the problem as a team? It would be faster, and the common goal would also weave the partnership closer.

I really dislike the blame game. I am always reminded that as you point the index finger at someone, 3 of your other fingers point back to yourself. That's why it is important to always address the problem, and not the person. After all, human beings will makes mistakes since we aren't perfect. The blame game always leaves a very bad mark on some people, may totally discourage one who's worked hard but not being recognize. Like what they always say, good things are erased in a moment when the bad thing arises. Imagine if you have placed 3 years of hard work, but screwed up on one, you'll be remembered for the one time you screwed up and not the 3 years of good work. Why, you ask? I am asking this very question myself...

What I really need to emphasize on is this, no matter what the problem is, nothing cannot be resolved. It's all a matter of whether you want to address the problem, or attack the person. Trust me, addressing the issue without attacking character will minimize the impact it has on the team.

Man, I feel so physically tired, exhausted...due to the lack of sleep. Stayed up in office up till 2am, finished up some items that were due. Was a little upset that I didn't manage to get my counterpart, hmm, I really wonder if they were intentionally missing my call, seeing my number is an international no. But then again, they might not be there as well...

Over the past week or so, I have been getting insufficient rest (sleep). Barely sleeping for 3 to 4 hours, and then rising to a new day, is certainly making way for a burn-out. I have to try make effort to sleep early today....have to....

This is certainly not what God would want me to do. The Word says He grants His beloved sleep. So, I gotta honour that, find time to rest and really get the sleep I need to be fresh again the next day. Oh, I so long for the sleep...

Well, can't wait for the weekend. Man, only Tuesday now.... 

Monday 11/21, first day in the Advance Sun Solaris Administration class...quite interesting. Know why? Because I didn't have to go back to office. But well, I know it's gonna be short-lived, because right after training, I will need to head back to office to settle some reports that are due today. Thank God I managed to call my customer to ask her to wait until I am done with my training to provide her with details, but that also means that I might need to stay back late to prepare it...oh well, that's the working life...

The classroom training is interesting because it's been a while since I actually sat through class. Of course, I had one recently, the basic admin, but yeah, in real essence, it feels so different because I haven't actually been in class in a while. Most of time at the workplace, sitting in my cubicle, or walking the production floor...

Some people love classes. I mean, perhaps, if you compare school with work, of course I would say, class is better. That's because there isn't much expectation on a day to day basis (can't really say the same for exam time...). Work, on the other had, always has expectations for completion.

Well, have to go. Some assignment. Share more later. 

Well....having to work on Saturday is just not my idea of a good weekend. Cos' Saturdays are usually my sleep-ins, the day where I really get my rest and recuperate after a long week.

This past week has been especially taxing on me. I have had very little sleep, getting calls at 3am, 5am, 4am, the weirdest hours. This is what happens when you are supporting production.

Well, just really need to cling on to Him. As much as I am frustrated on not getting enough rest, God is more than enough for me. I know I can get through today knowing for sure that I am well loved, and that everything I need is met in Him.

Put a short one for now...Probably update later. Have to get back to work.

It's been a while since I last updated this blog, I have been really tightly occupied with the many issues surrounding work. These couple of weeks, I have customers coming and discussing and talking through meetings to lay down some of their expectations. No doubt, it will be challenging because we're trying to win a new project, so it really takes a whole lot of dedication and commitment from the team to address the gaps.

It's no excuse for me not to be updating the blog, but I guess I just didn't take the time to visit this page. I guess I was just too occupied.

Have to make this short for now. Hope to be able to update more tomorrow.

Something I wrote to the CG while there in Florida...

Hello All,
            Greetings in Jesus’ precious and holy name! it’s been a while since I last updated you all on the things happening here. Basically, those of you who have heard from me, you all know that I am doing ok.
Let me just update you a little more about the things I am up to here. Today’s actually my last day here in Florida. It’s right now (at this writing juncture, 12.38am on Friday, Sept 16, 2005) the time I am doing laundry. Just thought it’d be nice to have clean clothes to bring with me in my journey.
Anyway, I am extending my trip to go to San Jose tomorrow (actually, later today). My flight is at 7am, from here (Tampa Bay) to Los Angeles (arriving at 9am, about 6 hours flight), and then to San Jose, CA. I should be arriving at 1pm San Jose time. I’ll be in San Jose for a couple of days, flying back on Wed (9/21). In San Jose, I’ll be meeting up with some of my customers and talking to them about work stuff for the future planning of resources of what Penang will be needing.
It’s pretty exciting a time, but I am so dead tired. Haven’t been sleeping really well in the past couple of days, have been really tied down with lots of work to do. Typically, am sleeping at 2 to 3am, and then waking up early to get to work. It’s like this whole week is meeting up with customers. But it is good, and I am enjoying the experience I am gaining here. Am learning to trust God that it’s not within my capabilities that will change things, but how God moves. Am so blessed that we are finding favour with the customers so far…
I know I mentioned before I left that I would only be here for 2 weeks. Looks like I have extended to almost a month here. There will be a couple of transitions in my work management, of the things that I am focusing on. There are projections of me traveling again to the States next month, or in Nov. This is just a rough idea of what’s it gonna be. So, I am just trusting God that time will show where God is taking me in my job, and letting the nature of the job show me what I need to learn.
I am packing up, getting ready for the trip. I may have put on some weight, but I really don’t know. I was supposed to post you some pictures, but looks like I can’t do it this round, because I have deleted those pictures when exchanging my notebook. Looks like those pics will have to wait…
In the 3 weeks here, I have gained the most valuable experiences in dealing with people. In fact, it is very liberating to know that being in America exposes me to the culture of the Americans, which I find is amazing. Many of these folks here are very friendly people. The people in my company here are basically a very well-blended group, with Mexicans, Viets, French and a lot of others. It’s a multi national community here. It’s very eye-opening to work with these people, even though this is my second time here, I find it very amusing as I deal with them. Overall, I enjoyed the companionship with the group, and the relationship we now build as counterparts…
Well, being here isn’t all about work. I have had some good times as well. Pretty fun activities too that we did. The first weekend that I was here, we went to the Universal Studios. Man, it was fantastic. The best thing I enjoyed in the Studios was the roller coaster ride (the Revenge of the Mummy). It was good. The only setback to the thing was, the queue was too long, and we could do a repeat ride. But we managed to cover quite a big area of the Studios, but didn’t manage to go to the Islands of Adventure. The Islands is where all the rides were. Too bad I missed that. The other group went (the whole team of 8 of that went to the Studios split to 2 groups, 4-4 each), while ours didn’t. Reason being, my group was where the managers were, and they felt they were too old for that. So well, its ok for me. I can do it if I come again (that is, if I come again).
Last weekend, went to Busch Gardens. If you heard of Busch Gardens, you’ll know what its attraction is. It’s the roller coaster rides! We had a few good rides, to name a few: Sheikra (a 90 degrees vertical fall simulation), Kumba (twisted ride), Gwazi (wooden roller coaster, pretty scary, for fear the support might break, at least, that’s what the ladies think) and Montu (Egyptian suspended ride). Of the named 4, we went twice on 2 of them (Sheikra and Montu). The rest, we did once.
No one could trade these experiences. For me, I had fun. I really enjoyed my time here, and with what I am doing in my job, I feel like I have gotten along well with my counterparts from Florida. The next hurdle for me is my customers, how will I present myself in the discussions with them?
Please pray for me:
1.                  Pray for favour upon me as I will be at the customer facility, to talk and discuss about gaps where the Penang group needs to work on.
2.                  Pray for strength for me, that I would get enough rest through the weekend (hopefully) to be up and ready for next week.
3.                  Pray for wisdom for me, as I prepare for these discussions. It will not be easy, as I will be talking to managers.
4.                  Pray for a group that will be traveling back tomorrow, pray that God grant them journey mercies.
5.                  Pray for me, that I would have journey mercies as I travel to CA and back to Penang. Will be flying from San Jose on Wed (9/21), and landing in Penang on Fri (9/23).
I know I will be missing Breakthrough Night this weekend. I hope that all of you are ready for the great things God is doing there, and will perform. I pray that you have invited your friends for the event, and been praying for God to move supernaturally there.
Will be keeping all of you posted. Will be finishing up my packing now. Just picked up my laundry, now need to fold and keep in luggage. After pack, quickly sleep awhile, as have to wake at 3.30am, get ready to take taxi at 4.15am, check in about 5, fly at 7. So, pray that I’ll rest well.
I hope all of you are doing good. I miss you all very much, and really wonder how Penang is. Hope that things are great there.
Before my next update, please do take care, you all. God bless you all richly.
Love always in Christ,
Roland
1.29am Fri, 9/16

It's been a while since I last posted in this blog site. I haven't been able to access the internet much, so I had to reserve much of what I have been experiencing to a good time, like an opportunity to share. Now seems like a good time for me to share what I have experienced....

Well, right now I am sitting in a conference room, together with a few of my colleagues from Penang as well. Nothing much is going on right now, because much of the activity is concentrated in the line. I don't need to get down because nothing running down there is my focus. Mine will be tomorrow, which leaves me with little or almost noting to do. And since I have a PC here to use, I may as well add something to my blog.

Life here is been pretty interesting. Have been coming to work at about 8.30am everyday (8.30pm in Penang) and leaving at varying times, like somedays we leave at pm4, somedays we leave at 5pm, most of the days, its times between 4 to 5pm. Have been going around and seeing Florida, visiting malls and restaurants. Have been eating alot, I hope I don't put on a lot of weight (grins...)

2 more week approximately here....since I am flying on the 16th of Sept. Should have a lot more to do, I actually have a long list of items to cover and close, especially in closing the gaps between Penang and Florida.

Will keep this short. Anyway, am hoping that things will get better. So long for now...share more later...

Just posting here in KLIA, getting ready to fly to the States. My flight's at 3.15pm, so still have to wait a while more...

Am at the lounge, the food's pretty good here. Am quite full, eating too much.

Kinda mixed in my emotions, excited, yet a little worried. Not worried about the flight, but a little worried about the expectations that the workplace carries, and all these requirements to making this project that I'm taking back a success.

There are just too many to think about. But like I always believe, it is so vital to really take one thing at a time.

Had to miss church today as flight to KL from Penang was at 11.15am. I'm sure things are going great there.

Thinking about my trip, I am only gonna be away for 2 week...so, shouldn't be too much to worry about.

Guess I'll stop here...As for my flight later, I hope I can sleep well. Oooh...business class treatment, very nice...

God bless!

Will be flying to the US this Sunday...with very short notice...looks like it was a rush to quickly drive for project closure.

Though I am looking forward to this trip, I am quite reluctant to leave this weekend as I am holding a role in church this weekend. Didn't feel right to just leave like that.

Will be there for 2 weeks. A short trip, but very great expectations. Some of my colleagues are saying we're there for 2 weeks to transfer 2 years of knowledge built by our counterparts.

Am keeping this short. Should be posting there...

Hope that this trip will bring delight in the holiday (during weekends), and also success in the project I am taking up.

I really have never felt this way at work before, but this is really beyond what I imagined. Looking at the numerous expectations and deadlines placed on me seemed to have driven me up the wall. I had to learn to co-ordinate the team to ensure that we meet the expectations the customer has on us.

Apart from that, I never thought that I would be laid with some assignments that cracked my brains. Also, I have some reports that are due, with the rising need to continue to provide to the team for understanding on improvement plans. I owe this to my program manager, but until today, still have yet to be able to give it. My manager too gave me a couple of assignments, and man, it really isn't easy to work this out.

With some customers from the States here to audit, it makes it even more hectic. Running on limited resources, and also aligning the team's readiness to deliver the needs was crazy. With all my paperwork screaming for attention, I am very hardpressed to make sure the line is running well, while trying to ensure that my paperwork is delivered on time.

Also thinking about preparing for my flight to the States. It looks like the plans have been brought forward, with so little time for me to prepare! The last I knew, it was supposed to be next year. Looks like it's quite urgent to make sure that we draw the requirements. So, I had to strike a balance between the needs of preparation to fly; the paperwork; and line readiness. I think I need more than 24 hours.

The only reason why I feel I need to log this in is because I need to ensure that I know what I have been through today. Hectic and crazy one may say, but looking at these that I have, makes it easier to focus on the issues on hand, quantify the issues, and address them one by one.

I really think all these are coming as tests to my character. God is certainly trying to teach me to praise through the gloom, smile in the face of the storm, and come forth victorious. These past 2 weeks have been really trying for me, as I needed to look into the numerous expectations and overcome them bit by bit.

Father, I ask for Your strength and wisdom in all I do. Indeed, I am nothing on my own, I can do with You enabling me, and strengthening me. Let Your creative thoughts be mine, and give me understanding to the issues I am addressing. I pray these all in Jesus' name, Amen!

You know, I know many people struggle in their work. There will be expectations. And sometimes, depression can set in. But if we properly look into these issues, and what is key is numbering the issues, quantifying them helps you look at things more objectively, and more purposefully. Least, you know what you need to close.

At least, I feel so much better now. Clearing one by one is so relieving, trust me, striking off items, and seeing issues needing attention reduced is very comforting. Just need to ensure the list doesn't get longer.

Tonight the workcell (business-centric group) will be going for dinner together, the whole big group. Many people are going, because the MD of the company (Penang site) is going. Maybe not that he's going, but because it is a time for the management to appreciate the hard work of everyone.

It is so important to take note of people's contributions. Sometimes people grow weary, working hard but do not see their efforts appreciated. Once a while, it is nice that management takes the whole team out, to just have fun together, not considering ranks, but just mixing together, sharing about everyday stuff, and things not pertaining to work. Many times being stuff at work, brings us to talk about work stuff only with one another. But we don't have time to get to really know one another.

Well, have to for-go tonight's dinner. Would love to go for it, but I guess I have more important things to look through; my cell group. The cell is great, I love it. But there is a lot to do, and this season, many are weary. Guess the principle I need to apply is this; appreciate them. Maybe can take them out dinner one fine day.

Gotta go. Prepare for tonight.

This morning, I had 3 meetings in a row; 7am, 8am and 9am. Don't quite enjoy going for meetings, because it's a lot of talk, and action items assignment. But sometimes, meetings are required to put in place the things we need to carry out.

I think though sometimes, as much as we dislike meetings, they are necessary. Without meetings, we could never bring minds together to consolidate the actions items, update the team current items status, and also an opportunity to express certain things you wanted the group to know.

There are a couple of things we should always emphasize on in meetings: 1. always seek to speak things that carry worth or value. Sometimes meetings are a load of junk. To make the meeting meaningful, keep it short, share things that really needs the whole group to know; else, keep it offline to the intended recipient. 2. Be precise. Don't beat around the bush, people will get turned off because they think you're talking no sense. Technically, it is good to share long stuff, and elaborate, but for the sake of everyone attending the meeting, it is good to just cut it short. 3. Respect people. Don't create another meeting from the one meeting. Always give way for people to speak, and don't interrupt. It is rude...

Yeah, some days in my meetings, we get a lot of crap as well. The best is to reserve the crap during the break times. That's when you can share your concerns, and create good friends, even in the work place.

There are a lot of things we can learn from meeting. Only if we emphasize the respect portion, we'll begin to see the lighter side of people. Meetings can also bring about many dark side of people, when temperaments are tested. Sometimes arguments do happen.

That's why it is important to keep meetings brief, and simple. That's when meetings are most effective.

I haven't really been updating my blog really well this week, because of many factors. One of them is the many schedules that I have to chase for. With the workload piling up, I really haven't much time to open up this site and update my postings.

This week is really really tough. 3 tough products in our business opportunity is really a lot to do; the task of really giving my best to the quality.

On Tuesday, I had started work at 10am, and ended my work the next day at 11am. 25 hours of work....man, was I really really tired. I remembered that come 7am, I was drowsy, tired. But due to some work efforts that I need to provide updates, I stayed on. Man, I got the sounding from my boss as well. Just because of staying back...

Am finally getting a day off tomorrow. My parents are down today, wanting to spend some time with them. Since working in Penang, I don't really see my parents that much anymore. I really miss them, so I thought it'd be nice to spend sometime, away from the busyness of work, to be with them. After all, they have sacrificed so much for me.

Well, guess that will be the end of my busy week. Hopefully, I don't get so many calls tomorrow and the weekend on issues.

As for work, I can only hope that the guys down in my group will really learn to be independant.